The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
– Jim Carrey
If there hadn’t been women we’d still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends.
– Orson Welles
“When I’m 80 years old, I’ll be reading Harry Potter. My family will say, ‘After all this time?’ and I will say ‘Always.’”
– Alan Rickman
The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes’.
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
– Albert Einstein
My love is like a candle, if you forget me, I will burn your f**king house down.
Good speech should be like a girl’s skirt. Long enough to cover the subject, short enough to create interest.
– Winston Churchill
I’m getting old. Not only is my short-term memory horrible, but so is my short-term memory.